Without Permission
by JaeHeeJun
Summary: how would a happy go lucky man make a snobbish girl into a pretty angel? well, she's an angel but not really that of an angel.ahehe...mikan has a sickness that couldn't be cure how would Natsume cope up with it?
1. Chapter 1

I'm starting a new one again.

It starts when a new girl came and she seems to be so lonely or rather snob. Her chamberlain is always with her. Treating her as if they couldn't let her drop even one sweat from her and there was a guy who would make her snobbish attitude gone. Is she really a snob or its just that she doesn't know how to make friends? I'm not really good at making summaries, so I guess; you should just try and read.

Their school's name is still Alice Academy but they don't have alices.

Chapter 1: She came

It's early in the morning; 8:00 is the school's starting time. Mikan Sakura, a 16 year old rich young girl, intelligent, beautiful, she plays flute and your perfect type of girl. But she's so hard to get, she wouldn't take a glance on you even if you're a girl. She always had her personal maid with her; her parents said she needs one because of her condition. She understands it, that's why her only friend is her flute. They reach the gate of Alice Academy, it's an elite school. She just came back from Germany because she was having her treatment but then it didn't do anything to her. They couldn't cure her. Her Mercedes Benz enters the academy grounds, the school itself is big. Her driver opens the car door for her, and her chamberlain gets her things for her. She gets off from the car with her flute. That's always the scene, her driver opening the door for her, her chamberlain fixing up things for her what she always had is her flute.

Her chamberlain bows at her "Let's get inside miss"

Her long brown curly hair dance with the wind, others students stare at her, astounded. A rare beauty pops in their school. She looks like an angel but there is something that lacks to her. Not even a single smile drawn onto her face or she doesn't even smile.

To their classroom…

Natsume Hyuuga, he's 17, handsome, intelligent or just let say he's the most intelligent student, rich, happy go lucky simply he's your campus crush. There's a vacant sit at the back of the classroom, they knows that it was just putted there and they wandered why. It looks like some important person's coming. He's staring at the window when he saw a beautiful young lady; he's not your typical type of girl. A perfect beauty, he thought. He wanders what is her name. He lost his train of thoughts when he's best friend Ruka taps his shoulder.

Back to Mikan Sakura…

They go to the director's office. The director is so please to have her.

"Ms. Sakura please have a sit" he told her.

Mikan sits down on the chair. Forever, her no smiling face. Her chamberlain just stands there with her luggage.

The director smiles at her "Ms. Sakura your room is ready, it's at the top floor and your chamberlain's room is right beside your room. You're with other elite students here"

"We don't need a room for my chamberlain, he's going straight home and I don't really care even if I sleep in your garage" she said.

Her chamberlain is in shock "Miss? But your dad told me to stay with you always"

"And I'm telling you to go home, it is okay enough that you guided me here. I can handle myself, if it is my time it's my time. Okay?" her voice rose.

The director stands up so nervous because she might just collapse there "Please Ms. Sakura, it would be bad for you"

Mikan stares at him, "If you know what is good for me, do as what I say. You could just give me a maid that would clean my room, I know you have one"

Her chamberlain interferes "Okay miss, but I will still go here everyday" he told her.

She looks at him "Do what you want" she sits back down.

The director smiles "If that's what you want miss, do you want to go and check your room?"

Mikan nods, she gets out first then her chamberlain and then the director. Her chamberlain is apologizing at the director.

"It's okay. I understand" the director told him.

They reach her room, it is finely made. There's a lagoon and then the other room is for the bedroom and her own shower room, there's a cabinet all her clothing's are set. All her cd's are set and other stuffs. Her things are almost all black (I told you I love black and rock songs, so that's how I made my characters, almost all based on my own personality). Her wallpapers are all set too. It's almost all the rock bands she loves. Then her pieces of flutes are all set too.

"Perfect" she said.

The director face her with his smiling face "It's good that you like it so let's go to your classroom and meet your classmates" he guided them to her classroom.

They reach her classroom. The director knocks on the door, the teacher opens it the director came in first, and then Mikan behind her is her chamberlain. All stare at her in awe even Natsume. So, she's the new one, great. He thought.

"This is Ms. Mikan Sakura, she just came back from Germany and please be good to her" the director introduced her to them.

A girl waves her hand "Sir is she that important that you're the one introducing her to us?" a girl asked, her name is Sumire Shouda.

The director just smiles at her "She is and she need your care"

Natsume is staring at the girl, she doesn't have any impression on her face but still she's so pretty.

Then she just walks out from them and takes her seat at the back. _'Pretty'_ the boys chant. Her chamberlain follows her.

"So, that's it for the introduction" the director said "Ms. Sakura please enjoy yourself"

Sumire stands up from her sit "Isn't it a bit rude for her not introducing herself and turning back on you, sir?" she asked and look at her. Mikan in return just look at her blankly.

"Now, now Ms. Shouda that's not good for welcoming her" their teacher said. It was Mr. Narumi.

"It's okay, I'll be going now. Study okay?" after that the director went out.

"You could go" Mikan told her chamberlain.

"Miss?" the chamberlain asked.

All her classmates even Mr. Narumi and even more Natsume, a bit shock I guess because of her rough attitude.

"I said that you could go now, I'm okay, aren't I? As long as I'm not talking, I'm okay" she said, enough for everybody to hear.

"But Ms. Mikan" Mikan stares at him "Yes, miss" and bows at her. The chamberlain stands at the center "Please, take care of her" and then gets out f the room.

Mikan stare blankly at the window when she saw Natsume staring at her but she doesn't seems to care, Natsume just smirk. Mr. Narumi called for her.

"Ms.Sakura don't you mind answering this one, I know your smart" he told her.

She stands up and answer the calculus question, there is only fourth person in their room that can answer it and if luckily she would be the 5th. Those are Natsume Hyuuga, Ruka Nogi, Hotaru Imai and Yuu Tobita. In their amusement she finished for only 8 seconds.

"God job, Ms. Sakura, great" he praised her.

She looks up at him "That's so easy" she told him.

"I know it's easy for you" he said.

The bell rings. The teacher gets out first and Mikan is about to go out to when Sumire shouts at her.

"What's with your attitude Ms. Mikan Sakura, don't you know any manners?" Sumire asked her angrily.

But instead of facing her, Mikan just ignores her. Sumire grabs her hand tightly that it hurts her.

"Let go" Mikan commanded her.

"Sumire, stop that" a guy approach them, it was Yuu Tobita.

"Shut up" Sumire shouts at him.

Then, a guy slaps her hand.

"Ouch" she glanced at the guy who slapped her hand "Natsume"

"She said let go so you should let go" he said to her.

Mikan pulls her hand and get out of the room without any word.

Well, I don't think it's not that great. It depends on how many reviews this story would get.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Her Flute

Mikan headed straight to her room after class. It's already night, she's at her lagoon, listening to music. Life is always boring to her, forever boring. Her doctor said a little sadness could kill her and so much happiness could kill her too. Why doesn't she die yet? Maybe because she wasn't really sad because there is nothing she would be sad for. She's a beauty for nothing. She turns off the radio and exits her room with her flute. She decided to have a walk inside the academy.

She's at the academy garden, finding a place where she could have a rest. People are staring at her; she's a new girl anyway. At this time of the night, students are still lingering inside the academy. Every student's lives in the academy dorm, they shouldn't and never leave the academy until they graduate or if there is a special order. There are many establishments where they could have fun, so, it's no big deal.

She find a peaceful place, it's a fountain, a pretty one. There are many trees surrounding it, there's not even a single person lurking around it. She plays with the water and smile; she sits at the bench beside it.

Natsume is walking to the fountain garden, he usually go there reading at a tree. He saw the new girl playing with the water, it's the first time she saw her smile and she looks even more prettier. He hides behind the tree where he could clearly see her. She played her flute; its beautiful sound surrounds the whole place. The music is so enticing, when he heard her choked.

'_It's starting again'_ she thought, her chest is aching not just aching she felt it tearing apart. Her flute falls down from her grip. She couldn't take it aches so much when it suddenly stops.

Natsume didn't know what to do, if she would approach her or what, she might get angry if he did. He saw her slowly calming down, he just decided to observe her. She picks up her fallen flute and stands up and starts to move off.

When Mikan stands up, she found her sight blurred. It's like her world is spinning around, it feels like she would fall down but she doesn't know if she really would. Someone supported her back. She turns around to see who it was; it was that guy beside the window before she could restrain herself she passed out.

Natsume just carry her back to her room, he doesn't have any choice. He carries her back to the dorm the bad thing was students are staring at him like he did something awful. Oh yeah! He forgot she's a new girl, their new princess. And on her first day he is already hitting on her. Oh no, girls who saw him carrying Mikan looked at them with great hatred, well actually more on Mikan not him. Why would they hate him? He's their great Natsume Hyuuga.

They reached her room. Luckily, Natsume saw her enter the room just in front of his room after classes. So he knows where it is, just right in front of his room. How many luck does he have anyway? He opens her door; he's a bit in shock when he opened her door. His eyes travel around the whole room.

'_Cool'_ he thought.

He opened her bedroom door and put her on her bed, he expect more than what he was seeing. He expects more on girly stuffs, there were just bears that would consider girly but nothing more. He exits her bedroom door and he's at her lagoon. Really, it is almost all black and there were many cd's piled up. He scans her cd's, many great band she has.

Mikan woke up from her little nap, she found herself in her room. She wonders how she gets there. She exits her room and found someone in her lagoon, checking on her cd's.

"What are you doing?" she asked in a soft voice, she somewhat know who it was.

The guy turns around, his raven hair and crimson eyes match the blackness of her room perfectly. He smiled at her; she felt her cheeks reddened a little.

"Oh, hi! I'm sorry for touching your things" he said to her while holding the cd's "I just never thought you like this kind of music"

She's about to open her mouth and speak because he hasn't answered her yet when he spoke out himself.

"I brought you back here, well you passed out at the fountain garden" he informed her, while putting back the cd's.

She remembered, so he's the one who supported her a while back "Thanks" she simply said.

He nods at her "Okay. Anyway, what happened to you back there?" he curiously asked.

She hesitates to answer back "I just fainted; I'm still tired, jet log I guess"

His brows raise "It's not just a simple jet log to me" he sarcastically said.

"Oh, don't ask. Anyway, don't tell anyone what happened more on not to the director or any school personnel" she said to him more on commanded him.

"Why?" he asked her.

"Just please don't. I'm begging you" she said to him.

"You don't need to beg, but if that gets worse I would tell him as for now, I wouldn't. Bye" after that he leaves her room.

Mikan doesn't know but it seems like his presence makes her tense. The anticipation that he gives her is more than just a mere presence. Morning came she enters her room with her flute with her, as always.

When someone called out for her "Ms. Mikan" it was one of Sumire's friends.

Instead of turning around to see who it was she just ignore her. She didn't notice her or rather she just completely ignores her. Then, touch her shoulders to stop her from walking. She looks at her with what-do-you-want look.

It was Sumire "When we're calling you, look at us just don't ignore us"

She shrugs her shoulder, to let Sumire's hand off "Why would I? I don't know you" she said to them. After that she turns her back again and walks off.

Sumire hen pulled her hair, "Don't be so proud of yourself missy" she said angrily at her.

"Let go" she angrily told them "I said let go" she barely shouts. When someone slaps Sumire's hand off her beautiful long brown hair. It was a guy with blonde hair and grey eyes with his smiling face.

"Ruka? What are you doing helping this proud little missy? Is it because she's pretty?!" she asked him, enrage.

He smiles at her "You were bullying her" he told them. Natsume just enters the room.

"And we are told to do so" a raven haired girl with violet eyes, told them coldly.

Mikan is really irritated "I'm not proud of myself" she finally spokes out for herself for the very first time.

Sumire touches her face "What then missy?" she asked sarcastically.

"It is only because you were all so proud of yourself, the girls are" she said to them. All their eye brows rose.

Sumire pushes her with more force but she didn't fall down "What did you say?!" she said with the other girls who was bullying her.

"Isn't it true? Because you were all insecure. Well, who wouldn't? I'm pretty, rich and smart. And not all girls can achieve it, just tell you were insecure of me" she said. Almost all were laughing except of course of those girls and Mikan.

"Not me" said the raven haired girl named Hotaru.

"We…We aren't…" Sumire is about to say something to defend their selves but they haven't got a chance because their teacher already came in.

Mikan sits down at her chair and listen to their teacher quietly. She knows that anytime soon, her heart might hurt again and she doesn't wish that to happen.

Well, I might delete this one…


	3. Chapter 3

Here's the next chapter. It didn't have that many reviews so I don't really know but since there are still readers who read it, for now, I'm continuing it.

Chapter 3: She Falls

She knows that she pushed herself too much a while back. Getting angry is not good for her and she knows that too well. And she hated herself for bursting out of anger. Anyway, all she said was the truth, isn't it? They really are just insecure of her, well if they know about their sickness, will they still going to get jealous of her? Maybe not, she's a beauty for nothing. She exists for no one and she's going to live for no one.

She feels it starting, hurting, breaking and she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't want them to see her falling down because of her sickness. It's a good and bad thing that she's at the back. The good thing was, her classmates wouldn't see that she's ill and the bad thing was her teacher would easily notice her. She just tries to compose herself, ignore it. Continue living just for her and she pity herself. It hurts so much, tears fall on its own from her eyes. Then, she can't bare it. Her medicine, yeah right, her medicine. She's finding it but it's nowhere to be found. Crap! Oh god! She can't hold on any longer when Mr. Noda called out for her.

Mr. Noda stops from teaching and his students were staring at him too "Ms. Sakura, are you alright?" he asked.

Natsume look at his back, seeing Mikan hurting again. He doesn't really know, what's happening to her. She didn't care to tell him and he doesn't know what to do right now too. Their other classmates look at her too, they can see it. She was clutching her chest hard.

Mikan's chamberlain just came when he saw Mikan clutching her chest, he hurriedly enter the room and came to her aid. "Miss, where's your medicine?"

She's not replying, or is it right to say she can't reply. He dialed to his phone and called the director in, the director hurried at her room.

"Let's take her to the hospital, inside the campus" the director told her chamberlain.

The stretcher came and they lay her on it, hurriedly. And she's still clutching her chest. The director came back after the few minutes in their room. And they were talking about Mikan, they class interrupted.

The director cleared his throat his smiling face became so stiff and he looks like he's angry, really angry "What happened?" they asked them, all seems to shut their mouths. Natsume is worried about her, and he doesn't really know why.

"I'm going too asked again, what happened? Who make her angry or sad?" no one still answered her "Yuu, you're the class president. What happened here?"

Yuu stands up, taking his courage, it's his fault anyway "Sir, Ms., Sakura and Sumire's gang have a little bit of confrontation, that's all that has happened, nothing else" he explained.

The director looks directly at Sumire "Haven't I told all of you to take good care of her. Not to make her neither angry nor sad. It's not that because she's important but because she's far more important. And making a havoc in her second day is really bad" his eyes are only focus at Sumire.

Hotaru speaks out "Sir, if you may excuse me and I'm not being rude, how could we take care of her if we don't even know what's happening to her? How would we know what to do?" she asked him.

The director smiles at her at last. "That's a very good question Hotaru. She doesn't want me to tell you this but because this has happened I think I need to"

"When she was in Germany, she was having her treatment. They were trying to cure her but years passed and they still can't cure her. She isolated herself from the outside world. As you can see, she's a bit rude. That's only because you were talking to her and not just talking to her, you were being rude to her. If you wouldn't just be concerned with her rudeness that would be the best" he explained.

"What do you mean, sir?" Ruka asked.

He continued explaining "Mikan Sakura has a heart failure since birth and it worsen because of an accident. Her doctor said, happiness could kill her as well as sadness. In this instant she could die, just one attack she could die. She could die in this hour, or tomorrow or the next day. She could even die in her sleep; a bit shock could kill her too. There's nothing exceptional in her condition"

And he look back at Sumire "So, Sumire have you and you're friends realized that you could have killed her on what you have done? Because of what you have done, you make her lose the last remaining hope for her to live" he asked.

Sumire's head is bowed, drops of tears falling from her eyes, she's guilty, she could have killed her and she knows if that has happened she would be guilty for all her life "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry"

"That Sumire, don't ever tell her that you were sorry because she would pity herself more and you would lessen her will to live. For now, I think she's okay but I couldn't say that she's out of danger and she's resting. So, Natsume, Ruka, Yuu and Hotaru sine you were the top of this school or our so called elite, you four are the one who's going to take care of her. I hope you wouldn't forget your responsibilities" he told them.

The four of them nod, Natsume just clench his fist. For him, that was absurd. He never heard of someone that had died because of happiness, well sadness might be acceptable. But thinking that her life is in danger he wished that her sickness would be transfer to him, he doesn't know and he doesn't understand either why he cared so much for that girl.

The director exits the room when someone asked a question again. It was a guy with blonde hair and brown eyes, he's name is Koko "Sir, How about a heart transplant?" he asked.

The director stops from walking "Koko, I'm not sure about that. I think that's bad for her too. Thank you for caring for her" and he stepped out of the room.

Mikan just woke up; the bursting pain is gone now. Her chamberlain is standing beside her. She sits down.

"Miss, that's bad for you" her chamberlain said.

She waves her hand "I'm okay, I want to go to my room"

Her chamberlain supports her back "Miss, that's not good" he pleaded to her.

"Please, I don't want it here"

"Okay"

Her chamberlain is still supporting her.

"I can do it on my own" she stands up and leaves the hospital room. It's dark and quite cold outside and it doesn't even come up in her mind that the hospital is far from their dorm. When a black Mercedes Benz sports car stops in front of her. It lowered its tinted window. It was Natsume.

He smiled at her and she smiled back "Want a ride?" he asked "I was going at the club but since I think you need a ride, why don't you just hop in" he said.

She thought of not accepting his offer but since she thought the dorm is far from the hospital, she just accepted his offer. She rides in his car and put on the seatbelt. "Thanks" she said.

"Well, I can't just let a classmate walking on her own late at night. And it's a bit far I don't think you could walk that far" he told her and turn his car back "Where's your guards? Why don't you just let them send you back to the dorm?"

"I…I…"

"It's okay. You don't need to answer to anything that I say. You're a bit stubborn, aren't you? Here, you've left it" he gave her, her flute.

She takes it "Thanks"

"Anyway, what happened to you back then?" he asked, he doesn't want her to know that he knows as well as the others. And he wanted to hear the truth from her.

Mikan avoided his stare and just give him a small smile "It's my sickness" she just simply said.

"What kind of sickness?" he asked.

"Hmmm. Do you really want to know? I don't like others pitying me. I'm sure you would pity me and I don't want that" she said to him.

"I may not" he said. _'I don't and I'll never pity you because you don't want that but I want to take care of you at least' he thought'_

"Okay, I'll tell you at my room" she said.

That's it for this chapter. I just hope you love it.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Her Misery

Natsume parks his car at the parking lot. Mikan get off from his car, Natsume followed her. Just looking at her, he can tell that she's good in nature. Maybe, she's not really that bad. Maybe, there's another reason behind her rough attitude. Well, maybe just maybe. To him, she's an angel.

They are at her room's door. Mikan opens it. She enters her room and invite him to come in. he sat at her settee. Even if it's the second time for him inside her room, he feels so at home. Like her room is his room.

She opens her bedroom door. "Wait there, I'm just going to change. Do anything you want" she said.

He just nods at her. He decided to play music, he picked a cd. From Autumn To Ashes: Abandon Your Friends album. He selected track 4: Vicious Cock Fight. For 30 seconds the intro played, just by the intro one can tell that it's loud and a one hard rock then the growling starts. The others may heard it awful and a real pain in the ears but for him the song is beautiful, a form of art.

_Twice as arrogant as I am talented  
Inspiration has been diluted  
I'm dependent on this solution  
Thank you Tennessee for your contribution  
Keep conspiring towards my reduction  
_

Mikan came out; she's only wearing a short and a red blouse.

"Do you want anything?" she asked him.

He looks at her and she still looks so pretty even with just shorts and plain blouse.

"Just give me a soda" he said.

_There's a nervous breakdown building beneath  
This calm exterior but no one seems to notice  
Not exactly a charismatic speaker with rising demand  
I just get buried deeper_

She nodded at him and went at her mini refrigerator. There's a cans of soda there and some cake her mom brought for her. She picked two soda cans and headed at him. She gave him his soda.

"Here" she said and sat at the opposite couch near him.

He looked at her "I never thought a girl like you would like this kind of songs" he said.

She grinned at him "I don't know but it sounds so good. When I was in Germany when I'm not playing flute I always listened to music that's why my cd's piled up" she told him.

"Oh" he said while nodding. "You could like love songs or pop, most girls love those kinds of songs" he said.

_I think it's time I let you know  
That my rope ended miles ago_

"I don't like love songs or pop or anything I just stick on rock songs" she opened her can of soda "They made me feel lonely" she said.

_When progression bottoms out  
You must consider another route_

He drinks his soda "So, can you tell me about your sickness. I mean so that I know"

_Anathematic patrons that practice masked identity  
_

She to drinks some of her soda and turns off the radio "So that we could talk much better. You sure you're not going to pity me?" she confirmed first.

He shakes his head "I'm sure I wouldn't. well, pitying you wouldn't do any good, isn't it?" he told her. _'Why would I pity you?' _his mind shouts.

"Oh" she smiled a little "You may be right…"

"…Hmmm" she paused for a while "When I was a newborn baby, the doctors know already that I have a heart failure but it wasn't that bad. And they never expect that it would be this bad. When, an accident happens, back when I'm 8 years old. I was with my mom and she's sending me to school, when our car crashed…" she paused for a while and sigh.

"Do you still want to continue? If you don't want to already, you couldn't. I wouldn't force you" Natsume said with concern.

She shakes her head "No, it's okay. So, that was it. Actually, we haven't got injured that much, just bruises, then a month later or so, my heart starts to ache, like its tearing apart. Every time it hurts, I feel like dying, it's like I want to take off my heart inside my body so it would stop. At first, my parents take it lightly because the pain would go off soon. Then days and weeks it's always occurring when there was a time that it doesn't stop, that because of hurt I have wished to my parents to kill me. When I woke up at that time, I was in the hospital bed…"

"Does it really hurt that much that you have wished your parents to kill you?" Natsume asked her; somehow, he really wished that god would transfer to him her sickness.

"Yeah, at that time, I can't help but cry. My mother told me that my heart failure worsens, the doctor said that there's a nerve in my heart that twist, and they too doesn't know how that happened. And they considered that maybe just maybe it's because of the accident. They told me that I couldn't cry nor laugh. Because it would be really bad and I don't know how to do that" she stopped.

Natsume is still looking at her directly and listening to her intently "How do you become rude? Why don't you talk to others?" he asked her.

"When the doctor told me about that, I don't know what to do, asking myself. Then I came up with a solution. I wouldn't talk; I would shut my eyes and ears. Then, I found myself like that. I decided not to care for no one and no one would care for me too. I just stay at our mansion, many doctors surround me, and nurses are with me 24/7. my parents aren't always staying at our house, they have businesses to attend too and I as a child understand that too much. I can't play outside nor go to school even how much I want too. When my mom got home from France she brought me this metal flute" she said to him showing him her flute "And I asked my mom why. Why did they let me live? Do I still have meaning? I asked them so many times to kill me, while sleeping, while doing anything; if they can't do that then they could just hire an assassin. Every time I wished them for that, my mom would always slap me and surprisingly I didn't get angry or sad. My parents are doing anything to just to cure me…" she said.

"And then they told me that I would go here, I would go to school. I don't feel any happiness or excitement and I even thought that my life would be even boring…" she finished her story "That's it"

"Isn't there any solutions to cure your sickness" he asked.

"There is" she said.

"Really? Then, why don't you do it?" he asked her.

"Hmmm…" she sigh "I wouldn't love to take a risk. I would just risk for nothing. After I'll do that solution you're saying or the doctors are saying, I will still live for nothing. Can't you understand, I told you already, I live for no one just for myself? If you're asking why my parents didn't pursue me, it's only because I told them that I would get angry and they wouldn't want that" she said.

"What if you find someone that could change your mind?" he asked.

She looked at him in shocked, she never thought about that "I don't want to have false hope" she said, and somehow, her heart hopes that, that someone would be Natsume and she still didn't realized that herself.

"But still there's nothing wrong hoping" he said.

"Maybe you're right. There's nothing wrong hoping. But like what I told you before I close my eyes, my ears, my mind and definitely my heart won't be exceptional" she said to him "So, I already told the things that you want. Aren't you wondering that I'm telling you this? Shouldn't I be rude and snob?" she asked him.

He just looked at her and said "I don't know. Maybe, you need someone to lean your hardships too"

Mikan looked at him, intently. It's like she's trying to look from his inside and laughed "I don't need someone to lean on to, all my life I live all alone. So, why would I need someone now?"

He looked up at her room's ceiling; it's all painted in black. He wanders if she too lives in this unfriendly darkness "Maybe, it's too much for you"

He's waiting for her reply, but nothing came. Not even a single taking in breath from her. She's just looking at her, his raven hair, crimson eyes, pointed nose and thin lips. Why is it that every word he speaks strikes her heart? His words are like an arrow and her heart is its shooting range. Why is it that every time she looks at him, she feels so at ease? Natsume looked at her and saw her looking at him.

Mikan stood up from her chair and turned her back on him "I'm tired and I want to rest already. If you may please, you could go now. Please, close the door" she said without even facing him and headed at her room.

Natsume wanted to call out for her. Then what? After he called her, what would he say to her? He doesn't know. So, instead of calling her, he just bowed his head lightly and said his thanks to her. His already going to closed her door when he heard something…falls? It came from her room. He hurriedly opened her bedroom door and clutching her chest hard. He quickly came to her aid.

"Are you okay?" he asked her worriedly. _'Of course, she's not okay! How silly of him' _his mind shouted at him.

Mikan is pushing him lightly but she doesn't have the strength to do that "Go…a…way" she said to him.

Natsume shook his head "No, it's okay" he said to her.

"Please" she begged him to stay out of her business "You said you wouldn't…"

his finger stopped all the things that she would say "Ssssh…its okay. I did told you that I wouldn't pity but I never told you that I wouldn't care for you"

"Where's your medicines?" he asked her.

She pointed out at her medicine cabinet; he carried her to her bed first before getting her medicines. He picked a bottle of white pills and gave her one, after giving her, her medicines he put back the bottle at the medicine cabinet. He sat on her side and gently caressing her hair. he doesn't know what makes him what to take care of her, to be her protector.

"I'm okay" she said "It's okay now and thanks"

he shook his head "That's nothing. Anyway, I'll go back to my room now. We still have class tomorrow" he brushed her long brown soft hair before going and stood up but Mikan stopped him.

she holds on to his hand.

"Yes?" he asked.

She just shook her head and smiled at him and greeted him goodnight. He greeted her back and smiled at her. He leaved her room, he's still worrying about her but he doesn't want her to be upset. Because he doesn't and would never want her to leave him.

Well, there it is. Thanks for the reviews as for now that's all I could say…. Ja ne! and if you want a mean Natsume I'm already making one…Ahehe….


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry, if my English is not that good. I'm really sorry like what I said in my other story The Game English is not my first language and I'm really sorry if it's hard for you to understand it. Like what I tell to those who tell me that I need a beta reader then maybe you want to be my beta reader because I don't know anyone who could fulfill that position for me. For the fact that I don't want any of my family members or my friends to read my story so there's no one. And I asked about it on my other readers and they told me that it's not that bad and I guess I need to ask again, is my English that bad for not anyone to understand? Your answers are well appreciated. Muchos Gracias!

Chapter 5: A Friend

They were at their classroom waiting for their teacher. Sumire and her gang is not 'disturbing' Mikan anymore and she liked it. She's looking outside when the door opened and she heard girls screaming and it irritated her. She looked at the door to see what was just happened, Natsume and that Ruka guy just entered, it's normal anyway, girls swooning around the two of them. And really, she doesn't know what's great about those two guys. Well, she admitted that the two of them are the handsomest in the school plus they were elite students, maybe she just can't understand them. She hasn't been attracted to anyone before. She heard what the girls are saying.

"Natsume, please pick me" a girl with pink hair said to him, pleading. Natsume is not giving any attention to her anyway and he looked so annoyed.

Then Sumire approached them with her dark mad eyes, really she knows how it felt being looked at buy those emerald eyes "Back off bitches, he's mine!" she said and smiled at Natsume.

Natsume just smirked and walked off with Ruka following him. The girls are still calling for them.

"Oh, Ruka, I'm willing to be your maid if you want to" a girl shouted as always the two of them didn't gave a damn about those girls.

Their eyes met his crimson eyes with her brown ones, he smiled at her and she just nod at him. Natsume sat at his chair and a group of girls approached him, she could hear what they were talking about because they were just inches away from her.

"Natsume, why didn't you go back last night" one girl asked.

"Yeah, we were waiting for you and so does Ruka" one girl said and looked at Ruka, due to Ruka's kind nature he just smiled at her. "When you didn't came Ruka go back to the dorm so there's no one we could talk to (or you mean flirt with)" she added.

Natsume shrugged and answered her simply "I have things to do"

"Oh"

Mikan was just listening to them _'You have something to do or you were just taking care of a sick girl' _she thought.

Mr. Narumi entered their room with his ever smiling face. He greeted them good morning and they greeted them back.

He called out for Mikan "Mikan…"

Mikan turned too looked at him "Yes?"

"The director is calling for you, so I think you should go there" he informed her.

"Oh" she just said.

Mr. Narumi turned at Hotaru and said "Hotaru…if you may please…come with Mikan. The director asked for you too" he added.

"Yes, sir" Hotaru answered obediently.

Mikan stood up from her chair and exited the room; she didn't even wait for Hotaru. Hotaru stood up as well and leaved the room; she followed Mikan and caught up with her.

"There's nothing wrong showing some kindness, you know" Hotaru said to her coldly.

Mikan looked at her "Huh?!"

Hotaru stopped and turned to look at her without even a single smile, somehow she mirrored herself on her. With her cold eyes and expressionless pretty face but there's something different about them. Hotaru's eyes have something in them, it contained happiness and contentment, things that she doesn't have. Her eyes might look cold but it's warm that touches her heart.

Hotaru smiled at her, a pure warm small smile "Making friends, I don't think there's something wrong with that. Why don't we be friends?" she told her.

She looked at her confusedly and said "You want me to be a friend?" she asked "In my whole life I never let anyone enter it. Not even you or anyone"

"Then, why don't you just try. It wouldn't harm you" Hotaru said to her and turned her back and walked.

They reached the director's office and Hotaru knocked on his door and opened it. The director is already waiting for the two of them. He's smiling widely at them.

"Take your seat" the director said with his arms clapped. He talked to Mikan first. "Ms. Sakura, your parents are coming here tomorrow. They ordered me to tell you" he said to her.

"Really, Why?" she asked him with her usual cold voice.

"They're here to visit you" he told her excitedly.

"I thought parents can't come here until graduation" she said to him, more on stated it.

He smiled at her "In your case…" but he didn't have a chance to finish his sentence.

"In my case…I'm an exception. Is that what you're saying?" she asked him "Then tell them not to come. I don't need them here" she said to him bitterly.

"But…Ms Sakura…" but then again Mikan cut him off.

She looked at him with a flash of anger "I wouldn't want to be rude but…I'm a student here. I shouldn't be an exception. Not because of my 'case', if they want to come here then they should wait until graduation" she said to him with a firm tone of voice.

The director can't say anything "If that's what you want" the director just said in obedience.

"Good" she said.

The director turned at Hotaru and talked to her "Hotaru your parents send a package for you" he bowed down and searched something under his table, it's a brown small box "Here it is, I think its for the party" he said to her "It's still months before the party maybe they just want you to see it early so they would know if you like it or not" he gave it to her and Hotaru accepted it. "You should call them about it"

"Thank you sir and I will" she said.

"If that's all that you want to say then I think I should go back" Mikan said to them.

He smiled at her "You could Ms. Sakura"

She just leaved the room without saying anything. Hotaru too leaved the room. It's already break time so it's okay if they don't go back to their room yet Hotaru found Mikan outside the school leaning at a tree. She looks like she's playing her flute.

She approached her, she's playing song, a sad one but still it's good in the ears. Mikan finished her song and found Hotaru listening at her song.

"It's beautiful" she said "Here" she gave her a can of soda.

Mikan is just looking at her.

"Take it"

Mikan accepted it, Hotaru smiled. She sat beside her and opened her soda. They just sat there without saying any word.

Mikan is thinking _'There's nothing bad about it. Letting her in my life, I have never let anyone to understand me…" _

Hotaru spoke out "I personally think that it's not because of your sickness right? You were just afraid…" she said.

"Huh?!"

"I just thought, maybe it's not really because of your sickness why you don't want to make friends. It's not because you don't want to die or you don't want your sickness to attack you" she said to her knowledgeably "Isn't it?"

she's just looking out of nowhere "No, it is't. I just want to lived longer that's why I don't want to make friends. You are…." Hotaru finished it for her.

"I am wrong? No, I am not. Even if you don't want to make friend your sickness will still attack you. For all these years, you already thinking that sooner or later you will finally die and you can't stop that. Maybe because you don't want anybody to get hurt" she said.

"What are you saying?" she asked, finally she looked at her.

"You've known about your sickness when you were still 8 and I'm sure you have friends back then, aren't you?"

yeah, she was right but she closed her world with them because…because…she didn't want them to get hurt? She doesn't know or maybe she doen't want to know or she doesn't want to accept that fact.

"Why don't we be friends?" Hotaru asked her again and she showed her hand.

Mikan looked at her hands for a second "What if I die this instant, do you still wan to be friends with me? She asked her.

Hotaru pulled out her hand "It's not an issue of you dying. What I'm asking you is to accept to my friendship"

Mikan leaned on her shoulder "Maybe, there's nothing wrong accepting your offer" she said to her and looked directly at her face and for the first time she showed somebody her smile.

"You're prettier when you smile" Hotaru commented her.

"The same goes for you"

that's it. Sorry, for the long wait. Thanks for the readers…


	6. Chapter 6

I haven't been updating for so long, sorry about that. As for my English., I feel ashamed…ahaha…while

reading my stories today, I just really felt ashamed. I was wondering if I really wrote the stories. It's just

unacceptable. If I was passing a thesis, I would give myself zero in grammar or a negative something at that, and now I know what other's are talking about, it's my punctuations, parenthesis, and those kind of simple grammars. Sorry about that, I shouldn't have let my carefree attitude get in the way, I promise to check out for it; and some of my usage of past and present tense, too.

Chapter 4: Who she is…

It's about time to go to school when someone knock on Mikan's door, she tied her hair in pony tail and opened up the door.

It's Hotaru, she greeted her, "Good morning!"

"Good Morning!" They left her room and headed together in their classroom.

Everyone is in shock that Mikan is with Hotaru. It's a shock to them how they became friends, base on the fact that Mikan is a cold person and to their understanding that Mikan doesn't want to be friends with Hotaru. Mikan gave Natsume a slight smile, Natsume, in return, smiled at her.

Mr. Narumi came in and said, "Now, there's a lot of work to do. Go to your seats."

Hours passed and dismissal bell rang. Mikan and Hotaru left together with Yuu to the dining hall. Somehow, some of Mikan's coldness left her. She became a little friendlier with Hotaru and Yuu around, Anna and Nonoko approached her.

They talked to her with uneasiness, "Mikan can we be your friends too?"

"Huh?!" Mikan replied, in any case, she cannot lose the things that she's already used to.

"We meant…that…" Anna continued on saying.

Hotaru interrupted them and suddenly declared, "Don't worry, she will. Right, Mikan?"

Yuu backed Hotaru up by inviting Anna and Nonoko to sit with them. Mikan smiled at them, which is unusual, and they smiled back at her. Corridors outside the cafeteria are getting noisy, they can her girls screaming and shouting, "Go with me!"

Natsume and Ruka entered the dining hall with their fan girls following them. Natsume and Ruka sit with Mikan and the others, and their fan girls glared at Mikan with anger; and Mikan in return didn't care about it. They all went back to their rooms, even though they can still hang out in the lobby. Hotaru needs to do something for the companies that are recruiting her and Yuu needs to do some research. Mikan went back to her room, she took her flute and went out. It's in the in the same place out n the forest where the beautiful fountain lies. Green lights are around it this time, it just seemed to be so peaceful and enticing. When she suddenly heard leaves rustling.

It was a guy with a blond hair and gray eyes. He seemed to be finding something.

Mikan looked at him and asked, "What are you finding?"

Ruka turned to her in surprise and didn't know what to say, "Rabbit…my rabbit…did you see where it is?" He embarrassedly asked her.

Mikan looked at him with her calm eyes and pointed out, "It's right over there." The rabbit is hiding behind the bushes.

"Oh!" Ruka exclaimed in delight. "Thanks. What are you doing here?"

Mikan lifted up her flute but Ruka introduced himself to her, "I'm Ruka…Ruka Nogi. Nice to formally meet you." He said nicely.

Mikan slightly smiled at him, "Mikan Sakura." She introduced herself to him, formally. "What are you doing here?"

Ruka was hesitating to tell her, "I was in the club when he got off," he explained.

"Oh," she replied and played her flute.

Ruka was drowned not just to the music playing but to her beauty as well. She's like a gentle wind passing through him. Now, he knows how Natsume felt.

Mikan is back in her room, it's already 8 in the evening. She took a shower and decided to go to sleep when it starts aching again. It has been hurting frequently, maybe this is it for her. She doesn't want to, she's merely starting life anew. Loosing it right now would be regretful. She has decided and she wanted to live with it, even if it means dying but not right now. Not now, when she wants her life more than anything else in this world.

Natsume is knocking on her door, he's worried about her. He doesn't know but he felt something. Something illogical yet he feels it. Her door is open again, she always forgot to close it.

"Mikan!" He called out, "Are you here?"

When he heard something in Mikan's room. He rushed into her romm, and found Mikan reaching for her medicines. He quickly grabbed it and gave it to her.

Mikan pushed him away, "You could have at least knock." she said.

Natsume didn't reply instead he carried her and put her on her bed. He looked at her, when tears started swelling in her eyes. He caresses her face as if she's the only one that matters in this world.

"Don't…" Mikan whispered. "Not me, please."

Natsume turned his back and turned the lights off, "Good night." he said. What is he doing? He doesn't know either, if he has fallen for her he certainly isn't aware of it. However, one thing he's sure of, he won't let Mikan die.

So, how was it? Is it even worth the wait? Ahehe…sorry about that…and it's short….well, thanks for the readers! And for some of you…I think the others will be up tomorrow or this Sunday…so please wait


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